And Sonnyboy approaches 22

And I can hardly believe it. And after all the doubters telling me he wouldn't make his last birthday. And we still have him at home. And he still seems happy and comfy. And in his own way healthy. And he will be 22 on June 1,2006.

And we finally have THE WHEELCHAIR. And it has only taken a year and a half to get it. And now we will have to remove part of a wall to get him out of his room in it. And I find I am totally joystick impaired.

We already had him up in it, all 285 lbs. of him. I told that nutritionist we needed to cut more calories. He is vast. I'm shocked. I hope he'll burn more calories now that we can get him out of bed and into his new chair. I've talked to his MD and we cut back on his calories without cutting his fluid or overconcentrating his formula. She will be coming to see him tomorrow.

#2 son and friend will be taking down the wall soon and then we're off...

Poisoning Time

It is that time of year. Time to poison all creatures great and small. The chemical trucks rumble through our neighborhood with their latest witless drivers sloshing and careening around the bend with no regard for the living. They are after all , delivering death. Death to all the little things that would dare to creep beneath the fine green grass and death to all the larger ones that creep upon it. Death to any plant not planted by design and death to the water supply needed to feed it all. Death to the planet. Death... arg!!!

They squint suspiciously at my "lawn" as they ooze by- weeds, bare spots, dry spots, birds, bunnies and squirrels merrily dot the "landscape". We keep it tidy. No washing machines on the porch(well just that once). No rusting pickup on the grass(its parked nicely in the drive way thank you). And while we rarely cut the backyard(my bird sanctuary) we do stay a step ahead of the Villages "weeds and debris" letter out front.

My poopyheaded next door neighbor is a sprayer. Not just the big truckfuls of glop but some secret, hidden, expired, not sold in stores anymore,illegal, chemical-supply-tucked-away-in-the-corner-of-the-garage-under-a-dirty-rag sort of stuff. Neurotoxic, carcinogenic military industrial complex strength stuff. Scorched earth stuff.

The stuff makes Sonnyboy seizure. In fact, the first time he seizured was on a beautiful, sunny, breezy spring day. A day my neighbor was out there spraying. A day we had opened the windows to invite the day in. In came The Spray. Out went Sonnyboy.

It took a while to make the connection but once I did I begged this person not to spray. I appealed to her intellect. She is after all a teacher at the most highly rated high school in the county. I appealed to her humanity. I obtained literature on "green" alternatives. I threatened to cut down her stupid ornamental fruit trees. I even called the police and was able to get Sonnyboy out of the house while she sprayed and then I had #2 son hose off our house. Last year Sonnyboy was in a respite facility at spraying time. It's that time again.

Maybe she managed to spray while he was in the hospital. He did seizure all day after we brought him home.

How can smart people do such stupid things?

Cresting

I guess there must be some cute word for when you are just about to reach the top of the hill. You know, right before you go over the top and its all downhill afterward. Youth struggles up the hill and then middle age sort of coasts along so as to fool you into thinking you will always be the same person you've been for the last 20-30 years and then suddenly you are screeching down hill and you realize you've got no brakes. Not only can't you stop but the road is bumpy, the view isn't pretty and the bottom of the hill is obscured in fog. I think it would be fair to say that there should be some sort of warning. You should get a letter in the mail from those AARP people stating Dear Sir or Madam...You are about to pass your prime...Get your sh*t together now before its too late. Stop joking about old people because "tag" you're it.

#2 son's girlfriend graduates from college today. She is having an 80's themed party this weekend. She has invited "moi". All I can remember wearing in the 80's is a wedding dress, maternity clothes and whatever still fit that was leftover from the 70's. I suppose I could stick a yarn wig on my head and go as a cabbage patch doll...What am I going to wear?

And back again...

Well we're home and so far so good. All systems seem to be in good working order. I managed to only make one new enemy over at SBUH and she was just a second year medical resident who probably should switch over to a career in anesthesiology. Maybe not though, although I'm sure she would be able to put people out , I'm not sure they would ever wake up again. All those little bottles of medicine with all the different names might just be too much for her. She seemed to have some sort of first hand knowledge about inhaled medication though. After our little altercation they managed to keep her away from Sonnyboy so all went well. Everyone else - even my neonazi arch enemy in the ER - was very nice.

Sonnyboy seems no worse for the trip. His feedings are back on schedule and seem to be staying where they belong. He managed to sleep both pre and post op and has basically been awake since yesterday morning now. Hubby took the night shift and is now in bed. No prospects for employment yet, but, I'm sure he'll find something one of these days. After all he's a geeknius.

Thanks to all for your "positive" vibes. It means a lot to me to know there are people out their coaxing the universe on our behalf. Love to you all.

home care

home care

Well I try again. Yesterday's post wound up in the fairsCaPe blog with the poem.SOnnyboy's operations went fine. I just spoke tot htem and he is basically still asleep. we stayed pretty late yesterday but yoou know sonnyboy he can sleep a long time . I gotta go . much to do

Back to the Hospital

It will be quite some time before I post again, Sonnyboy is having some problems. Nothing serious, but, time consuming and we are preparing to return to the hospital. Thanks to all.
Bye.

BeautifulBeautifulPerfectPerfect

The oncologist's office just called. "Negative" never sounds so positive as when you're getting your Pap results. Thanks to everyone for sending out that "negative" vibe.

BeautifulBeautifulPerfectPerfect

The oncologist's office just called. "Negative" never sounds so positive as when you're getting your Pap results. Thanks to everyone for sending out that "negative" vibe.

BeautifulBeautifulPerfectPerfect

The oncologist's office just called. "Negative" never sounds so positive as when you're getting your Pap results. Thanks to everyone for sending out that "negative" vibe.

to do or not to do...

Some days I just wish I could stay in bed all day. I wish I could just turn my back on everything. I guess I'm just not taking the right drugs. I need an antiresponsibility serum or something. I make me sick. Literally, figuratively and actually. I am not who I am therefore I stink. Well, I'm fed up with posting kid poems and mother poems so I think I will post some Math poems over on fairsCaPe. My mother loved math , the last book she asked for before she died was one of her old Integral Calculus books. Now that Hubby has taken over being a mommy to me and to Sonnyboy I guess these posts are also for him. Love to them both.

OMG 11elevenone wtf

Freud was wrong. He would be 150 years old this year. Sometimes a cigar is not just a cigar, it is shorthand for Chinese girls addicted to RetroMUD (an RPG). But, you don't have to take my word for it . Just google Urban Dictionary. In the course of an afternoon I looked up a lot of words I wasn't sure about with interesting results. Then as a goof, I looked up the names of some of my favorite blogs - with absolutely hysterical results. Then I looked up fair and scape, not expecting to find anything and omgrotflmao I found out something I did not know. Just in case you think my blog name is bad try looking up your own name or one of your friends. I don't know if the world will ever be the same again. I don't know if I can ever write a blog or talk in front of people again without consulting this resource first(quick check - first is listed but is not obscene or drug related). Have Fun !!!11elevenone!!!

Cancer sucks

I met some one once who said they wanted to get their Mom a t-shirt. Their Mom was in remission with breast cancer. They wanted the T-shirt to say "I survived cancer therapy".
I get it now. My cancer was asymptomatic until a week or two before diagnosis and even then it was no big deal. And my cancer was advanced to what the American Cancer Society calls Stage 2B. With therapy I have a 60% chance at a five year survival , without therapy the doctor gave me 3 months.
Well its been 2 years and the chemo and radiation have done their job , so far so good( still waiting on the most recent test result). Last night though, I forgot to take my medicine. I had a so so night but I'm paying today, I could take the other medicine but it fuzzes me up and I might have to drive. I think I'm going to have to take it though, I really can't see going on like this all day. OK, whatever, the point of this all being, the problems I'm having are not from the cancer but from the treatment.
If I had gone for regular check ups I could have avoided all this with an early diagnosis. So, if you have a cervix make sure you Don't Skip Your Pap Smears and if you know someone with a cervix don't let them skip their check ups either. This is a killer disease, but with early diagnosis it is relatively easy to cure. With regular Pap smears, HPV testing and the new HPV vaccine we can virtually wipe out cervical cancer in our lifetimes.
So if your due for a check up make that phone call today. You could be saving yourself. You wouldn't let any one else hurt you right? So don't hurt yourself.
If just one person reads this post and goes for their checkup it will be worth it to me to have shared. Let me know how you are doing.

Monday Monday

It's harder to keep track of the days of the week now that Hubby is home all the time. I guess I never really developed an affinity for weekends when I worked because you had to be in every other one. You rated a sure trip to the office if you called in. I remember working one Mother's Day with the worst (and last) hangover of my life. I told everyone it was pollen allergies and they bought it. Luckily the MD's had emptied out the SICU for the holiday by not doing anything fancy in the OR that week. I finally got it through my head that day that a career in alcoholism just wasn't in the cards for me. I have way too low a tolerance and get sick every time I drink. Anyway...

#2 son has gone off into the outstretched arms of corporate america. I thought I could catch him on his was out with the obligatory "first day of real work photo" for the album.
I figured it would be cute next to his "first time stoned " and "first time arrested " pics.
He got away though, up and out before I had expected, eager to arrive on time; sober, straight and ready to meet and beat the world. HAHAHA...

Sonnyboy was awake for 32 hours when he finally was able to fall asleep 9 hours ago. I have to go shuffle through and find a few poems about him for the fairsCaPe blog. He has kept me on my toes for so long now that the only shoes I can wear are pink,satin and laced up with ribbons that wrap around my legs. Where's my tutu...?

Mother's Day

Does this day belong to mothers more than any other?

I have a problem here, that's O.K. though I have a problem with Women's History Month,Nurse's Week,Secretary's Day and any other celebration that relegates,to a specific set apart time, the respect, love, and attention;given to any women, any human being, that is due them every moment of every day.

You may argue that this is just an extra special time,but, that's the easy Hallmark answer. I've known women, bitter with the cold neglect of a year, who smile too appropriately as pictures were snapped on their "special" day.

I propose, at least, a Quarterly Mother's weekend.

It's spring, time for Spring Cleaning. After all, what would make a mom feel more appreciated than to have people acknowledge her work by doing it. A house and garden,cleaned top to bottom, front to back,side to side; shelves stocked with groceries; hand made meals prepared ; all done by the loving hands of sons and daughters, demonstrating what they have learned from Mom. Showing, that they have more to share, than a greeting card, a box of sugar, a few dead flowers, or a half a days paycheck; tax and tip included.

Mother's Day is a week from tomorrow.

99%

I/We guess I/We must have the blogospheres' most boring blog profile. Since Dirk the Feeble linked from his blog to mine I have had an increase in the number of profile hits, but, by comparison only 1% of those hits have resulted in comments on my/our blogs. Or the blogs could be boring,as I/We said, compared to my contest entries these blogs put the blah in blog. Hubby will be showing me how to link soon and then I'll be able to at least send you to other more lively spots. The are a whole bunch of art and photography blogs that are fun to visit. And there is this blog called Veiled Conceit which is ,well, you just have to go there and see for yourself. I laughed til I cried.

Sonnyboy woke up after I was asleep last night and Hubby didn't write down the time. I guessed he'd be awake by 3pm but I was wrong. Who knows when he'll go back to sleep. We have been having lots of fun today, he is in a very smiley, happy mood. His nurse was here last night and she reports he was happy all night. What more could a parent ask for ? I have three happy sons. Each finds his own kind of happiness his own way. I'm a very proud Mom. I have a lot to celebrate on Mother's Day. I will try to post some mother/child poetry on the other blog with the holiday coming up. Let me know if you have poetry somewhere that you would like me/us to read.

password protection

FairCaPe is a computard. Hubby is a geeknius (silent K). Hubby sets things up so fairsCaPe only has to point and click and all things blog appear. Hubby likes to sleep without fairsCaPe stamping around barefoot on the carpet to see if Hubby is awake yet for Tech Support.

FairsCape is kind and generous. When some one of #2 son's playmates ask to check their email fairsCaPe says " Sure".

FairsCaPe is sorry. On many levels. One of #2 son's playmates invaded fairsCaPe's blogracy and posted unkindly either in faisCaPe's persona or otherwise. Said playmate, it seems likes to"dis" blogs and rile folks up.

FairsCaPe apologizes. If this young person has come by and annoyed you through fairsCaPe's blogbookmarks, fairsCaPe is sorry.

FairsCape is not talking about the contest posts. I/we take full responsibility for those.

FairsCaPe forgives #2 son and #2 son's playmate. All email will be checked on #2 son's computer from now on. The "dissing blogger" will blog from his own blog. All will be right with the blogosphere.

Sonnyboy is asleep. Hubby is asleep. FairsCaPe had a good checkup yesterday at the radiation oncologist.

#2 son drove fairsCaPe to the doctor so I/we were able to take 2 Vicodin (my favorite) before the nasty exam. Now I/we just have to wait for the Pap Smear (my favorite) results. Everything else was normal. Phew!!!

My mother would be proud

Not!

Well , Welcome to our lives, oops, our nonlives according to Dirk. Actually we had lives once upon a time and now we have, well, you, the blogosphere; our international penpal club , village square, and curbside cafe all rolled into one. Writing the posts for the contest severely cut into my solitaire and crossword puzzle time. I'll never get those moments back, but,winning this prize has made it all worthwhile. I emailed Dirk and asked him to link to a blog other than my own if my name was the one he pulled out of his hat as winner. Of course, Dirk being Dirk, he linked, but not to the blog I had requested. He linked to Tea and Books and that is just fine with me . I like that blog and there are a lot of good links there, in fact I believe that is how I found Dirk in the first place, so it is only fitting. Well, its time to put on Noggin, turn off Sonnyboy's tube feeding and get myself a Stoneyfield Farms chocolate underground fatfree yogurt. Even people who do not have a life have to eat.

ps I did not say my bog "sucked" I said it put the "blah" in blog . I would never use a word like "suck". Please!

Rollin' all night long

It's morning and my little cutie ( not that a 6 foot tall-250 lb. 21 yr. old is little) patutie is still awake. We are at 37 hours and counting. Bob the Builder must be exceptionally funny today; Sonnyboy keeps laughing and setting off the high pressure alarms on his ventilator. I hope he doesn't wake up Hubby. We changed shifts between 3-4am and Hubby needs some sleep. Oh well, at least tonight the nurse will be here from midnight to 6am. I hope. As long as none of her kids are sick.

Tomorrow I have to see my radiation oncologist for a regularly scheduled check up. I can hardly wait . At any rate wish me luck. I would cross my fingers but it makes it hard to type.

#2 son got a call yesterday. He starts his first REAL job on Monday. He'll be doing computer Graphic Design. I am pleased and proud. Please wish him luck as well.

They have done all these research projects on the power of prayer etc. I wonder if they have done any on the power of wishing people luck. Anyway good luck to everyone on everything just in case it works.

Today is another day

So Sonnyboy slept for 42 hours (long but not a record) . It's easier in a way with him on tube feeding I don't Have to worry about his nutrition or dehydration. With the texas catheter I don't Have to worry about wet diapers and diaper rash. With him bedbound with side rails up I don't Have to worry about him rolling off the bed and on to his (heavily padded) floor. I don't Have to worry about him seizing and falling or causing a ruckus or bothering the neighbors or ... sorry... just looking for the silver lining...wouldn't Pollyanna and Scarlet be proud.

Of course he waited until I couldn't keep my eyes open to wake up. Sweet Hubby took care of everything.

We turned him on his side before Hubby went to bed (about 6am) so I will wait til I turn him on his back to play Beauty Parlour. We switched from PBS Kids to Noggin at 7am. I know it comes on at six but Sonnyboy loves Dragon Tales and Bob the Builder on PBS. Dora the Explorer is on now.

I wonder how long Sonnyboy will stay awake after his Marathon sleep...