Have I died and gone to hell?
I was up at 4am today. I showered and was at the hospital by 6am. I signed my name 2 or 3 times and waited 2 or 3 hours to be taken to the OR. The nurse anesthetist ( who I really like) stuck me 5 or 6 times to get an IV started. The put me out and had to use general anesthesia to put the port in because of all my allergies. I woke up in a lot of pain because they usually shoot the whole area up with locals but I'm allergic to every "caine" medication I've ever been given so the operative site HURT. They didn't have the pain medication I take in the recovery room so I had to wait an hour or so while the nurse ran down to the Pharmacy to get some. Then they took me back to the staging area. Then I got dressed to go home. Then I started coughing up blood. Then they sent me home.
Steven went to the Pharmacy to get me the Perscriptions I needed. After he got me some food he went to see Bobby.
Two days ago when we went to see Bobby he was positioned so poorly we complained.
Yesterday, to punish us for complaining they shoved all of the pubic hair aroung the base of his penis into the Texas (condom) urinary catheter so that it was pulling on him for I don't know how long. I freaked out . I had to cut his pubic hair to get the catheter off of him. They were screaming at me the whole time because they have those rules that I am not allowed to touch him. Even though they don't know what they are doing, even though I have an RN, even though I have been taking care of him for 22 and a half years, even though in addition to being his mother I am the Court Appointed Guardian of his Person and Property.
Today when Steven got there the doors were closed and they were running around like crazy people and it turns out some farking abusive insane farking NAZI had PULLED OUT HIS GASTROSTOMY TUBE. Solid anchor, sutures and all. Blood everywhere...
Bobby is on his way to the ER via ambulance. Steven is taking the car. I can't be there. We have been up since 4am. I start chemo in the morning. I am still coughing up blood. My girlfriend will be taking me.
Have I died and gone to hell? This is un-farking-believable.
Forgive me for not spellchecking. I am shaking with rage and fear and pain. I am all alone waiting for Steven to call. I have been crying so much I can hardly breathe. It's like the twilight zone. Just being able to tell you guys helps. Thanks.
Love to all,
fairsCaPe
Steven went to the Pharmacy to get me the Perscriptions I needed. After he got me some food he went to see Bobby.
Two days ago when we went to see Bobby he was positioned so poorly we complained.
Yesterday, to punish us for complaining they shoved all of the pubic hair aroung the base of his penis into the Texas (condom) urinary catheter so that it was pulling on him for I don't know how long. I freaked out . I had to cut his pubic hair to get the catheter off of him. They were screaming at me the whole time because they have those rules that I am not allowed to touch him. Even though they don't know what they are doing, even though I have an RN, even though I have been taking care of him for 22 and a half years, even though in addition to being his mother I am the Court Appointed Guardian of his Person and Property.
Today when Steven got there the doors were closed and they were running around like crazy people and it turns out some farking abusive insane farking NAZI had PULLED OUT HIS GASTROSTOMY TUBE. Solid anchor, sutures and all. Blood everywhere...
Bobby is on his way to the ER via ambulance. Steven is taking the car. I can't be there. We have been up since 4am. I start chemo in the morning. I am still coughing up blood. My girlfriend will be taking me.
Have I died and gone to hell? This is un-farking-believable.
Forgive me for not spellchecking. I am shaking with rage and fear and pain. I am all alone waiting for Steven to call. I have been crying so much I can hardly breathe. It's like the twilight zone. Just being able to tell you guys helps. Thanks.
Love to all,
fairsCaPe
posted by CCCCppppCCppp at 4:50 PM
14 Comments:
Yikes! I am speechless.
*jin starts to cry*
Wish I knew what to say?
Wish I could make it better.
Strewth, F.
May I make a suggestion?
Bring Bobby home again. It is not helping him or you having him live there. Negotiate with your insurers for some in-home nursing or an aide or whatever, but get him out of there. And consider reporting them to the police while you're at it.
Its little comfort but you cannot possibly have more days as crappy as this one. It's over, it's gone, it is NOT going to happen again. Because next time the hospital will have the right pain meds FIRST. Because you and Bobby deserve so much better. Because surely, surely, the God of Crappy Luck will find some other soul to torture now.
Many hugs.
Oh dear god, that's horrible. I'm in tears too.
Is there any other alternative placement for Bobby? Please tell me there is. None of you should be putting up with this treatment.
Is there any industry body or association that deals with this type of facility? If so, they need to be reported.
Speechless, angered, frustrated, feeling useless. Wish I could help in some way.
Thanks to all for your continued support. If only we could take him home right now... as many of you know my cervical cancer was originally stage 2b. After two and a half years of remission I am having a reccurrance with lymph nodes above and below the diaphragm and solid tumor in distant organs. I start IV chemo today through the port installed in the OR yesterday. Chemo gives me a 40% chance at one year of survival.
Bobby requires round the clock skilled nursing care because he is totally physically dependant, nonverbal, and is on a ventillator 24 hours a day. The only way I can ever get him home is if I do chemo immediately and survive. At this time there is no 5 year survival anticipated, even with chemo. My husband and I have been providing 99% of Bobby's care. There is no home care nursing available. We have made thousands of phone calls. We chose the facility he is in because ft has the best reputation in a 50 mile radius of our home. If I take Bobby home now I die in less than a year and he will wind up in some other place without me to advocate for him. Strewth becca.
I echo Rising's post. I know you can't take care of Bobby while on chemo. Among all the other concerns, I remember all the dire warnings from my doctors and nurses of being "toxic" to my husband and son, and having to take extra precautions not to harm them.
I'm sorry. I can't say more right now. I'm crying too much to see the screen...
When it rains it pours. I'm shocked and horrified by the treatment Bobby has been recieving. Having him there must be torture for you. Be strong. We are all pulling for you, crying for you, and praying for you.
I can't believe what you are going through...but I will def keep you and your family in my prayers!
Unbelievably shameful. I wish I could do something to help you.
Here by way of OGO.
I read this.
I read this and I'll be back tomorrow to read more.
(((((((((fairscape))))))))))))))
Aarrrrrgggh!
It does sound like you died and went to hell! Hang in there, it's got to get better....I'll keep you and your family in my prayers, but you need to pray too. Your Father in Heaven loves you and he will help you somehow..Good luck, I'll check in again. Go get some sleep.
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