Biopsy Report

metastatic squamous cell carcinoma.

I wrote a whole post and just lost it a minute ago. I am so pissed.( not drunk, angry)

The whole idea of it , of course in much cuter language than this ,as original inspiration is always so much better than a rehash, is that I am recruiting bloggers to send negative thoughts to my various malignant spots.

In an effort to cover all the spots without overlap or ommission I will be assigning some spots to each of you.

PK-you get secondary neoplasm in my right colon.

Jin- I would like you to take the nodule in my right middle lung.

Fuff- anterior portion right apex of the lung
Fur- left mid base of the lung near the diaphragm

Caramaena- superior mediastinal lymph nodes

Eduardo- paratracheal lymph nodes

OhGreatOne-prevascular lymph nodes

EC- anterior mediastinal lymph nodes

hmmm- precarinal lymph nodes

RisingSlowly- subcarinal lymph nodes

It seems I have run out of regular readers before I have run out of malignant spots. This is the time to come forward and comment if you are out there. I need evil directed at my...

right hilar lymph nodes-

left hilar lymph nodes-

retroperitoneal lymph nodes-

paraaortic lymph nodes-

mesenteric lymph nodes-

precaval lymph nodes-

porta hepatis lymph nodes-

left common iliac lymph nodes-

a vague focus of activity within the anterior segment of the right hepatic lobe (liver)-

I will take the anterior left anterior abdominal wall mass as the pain from the biopsy is a constant reminder.

N, I have not forgotten you. N is a cancer nurse who I bumped into along the way. N,would you please look after my primary site (cervix). It is still in remission but as I will be distracted I would like you to direct your negative thoughts just to keep it in line.

Now all you guys have to do is think evil thoughts directed toward my malignant cells. Kind of like negative prayer. When you get really angry at something else, like bad drivers or stupid neighbors or george bush just direct that anger at your assigned malignant spot instead. The first time you yell out... I hate fairsCaPe's "assigned malignant spot"... you might get a few of your regular funny looks but then maybe you can recruit some new haters to the fray.

If nothing else this exercise can take the place of the frustration this terrible disease causes as we helplessly watch it consume people who are important to us.

And when it works, and I am cured and in complete remission we can write up a paper. And we can use the fairsCaPe technique to help others.

You have all been chosen for your ability to get a good mad up. Now's your chance to target your anger on a worthwhile cause. I expect to feel more pinpricks than a voodoo doll.

Get those evil mantras going.

Love to all,

fairsCaPe

(I will not be spellchecking this one -just going straight to post)