Global warming
Everyone has a theory as to why the earth is heating up but I know the truth.
The world is now hotter than it has been in the last 2000 years. Scientists have determined this fact from looking at the rings on old trees and by looking at samples of ice from the polar caps. Thank you John Stewart on the Daily Show for this information.
Why is it so warm?
Some blame the use of fossil fuels; others say that Gaia is just trying to shake us off, like when you get a fever to fight an infection.
That's not it.
The reason the Earth has gone tropical? It's all us Baby Booming Women hitting Menopause at the same time. It's just one great, big, global hotflash.
Now I used to think as you might (if you are one who has never had a hot flash) that women who complained about them were just wusses. So they feel warm, so what ?
Now, having undergone a medical menopause from chemo and radiation therapy, I gotta tell you, not only are these things personally devastating but they're cooking the whole planet.
If you have not personally experienced a flash I invite you to duplicate the experience. You will need Niacin (not the nonflush kind), a hot coffee, woolen long johns and a bathroom with a hot shower. Take the Niacin with the coffee, dress in the long johns and go clean the bathroom with the hot shower running. Instant hot flash. No you may not leave the bathroom until it is clean. Not funny any more huh?
Well if all these Red Hot Mamas are the cause, then what's the cure? Should we just shoot them and put them out of they're collective misery?
Why no! And trust me I'm not just saying that as a prospective shootee.
What we need to do is allow women of a certain age to just take it easy. Let them sit by the pool in the shade sipping caffeine free ice tea. When they feel a flash coming on they can take a quick dip to cool off. Let them have a year or ten off from work at full pay. We have Maternity Leave why not Menopausal Leave. Get some one to run their errands and do their chores. It's not asking too much is it?
We're talking about saving the planet here people!
The world is now hotter than it has been in the last 2000 years. Scientists have determined this fact from looking at the rings on old trees and by looking at samples of ice from the polar caps. Thank you John Stewart on the Daily Show for this information.
Why is it so warm?
Some blame the use of fossil fuels; others say that Gaia is just trying to shake us off, like when you get a fever to fight an infection.
That's not it.
The reason the Earth has gone tropical? It's all us Baby Booming Women hitting Menopause at the same time. It's just one great, big, global hotflash.
Now I used to think as you might (if you are one who has never had a hot flash) that women who complained about them were just wusses. So they feel warm, so what ?
Now, having undergone a medical menopause from chemo and radiation therapy, I gotta tell you, not only are these things personally devastating but they're cooking the whole planet.
If you have not personally experienced a flash I invite you to duplicate the experience. You will need Niacin (not the nonflush kind), a hot coffee, woolen long johns and a bathroom with a hot shower. Take the Niacin with the coffee, dress in the long johns and go clean the bathroom with the hot shower running. Instant hot flash. No you may not leave the bathroom until it is clean. Not funny any more huh?
Well if all these Red Hot Mamas are the cause, then what's the cure? Should we just shoot them and put them out of they're collective misery?
Why no! And trust me I'm not just saying that as a prospective shootee.
What we need to do is allow women of a certain age to just take it easy. Let them sit by the pool in the shade sipping caffeine free ice tea. When they feel a flash coming on they can take a quick dip to cool off. Let them have a year or ten off from work at full pay. We have Maternity Leave why not Menopausal Leave. Get some one to run their errands and do their chores. It's not asking too much is it?
We're talking about saving the planet here people!
posted by CCCCppppCCppp at 3:25 AM
7 Comments:
love the post, and totally agree.
Heh, great ideas!
Naw, that's not it, everyone knows its from frat boys lighting farts.
Hahaha!!!
Brilliant theory!
:-)
ha it was hotter in tha middle ages than it is now mabe cos thay dint has hormones then
You get my vote Fairscape! And I love the bathroom analogy - pretty much right on! Menopause is rough enough, but when it's chemically induced via chemo and radiation - man, it's the pits innit?
Great idea and very well said :)
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