Tahiti

There are two places in the world I have always wanted to visit. I'm not sure why, but for as long as I can remember I have wanted to travel to France and I have wanted to run off to Tahiti. Maybe it's one of those past lives things or maybe some junior high slideshow presented by our French teacher Mde.Du Mott. Not that I enjoyed taking french, it was my worst subject. I only scored 89 on the regents exam and our teacher Dr. Smith(who spoke french with a southern fried accent - Bone Jurr Claass) raised an eyebrow and stared at me for a full minute when he read my grade. Like I cheated and he was waiting for me to confess. Right in front of everyone. But no. monsieur, Je ne Cheat pas, merde tete. Anyway,I guess the only reason I took french instead of Spanish, (which could have been useful) like everyone one else is that my mother studied french in college. I thought she could help me -NOT! Mommy managed to go though menopause right as I was going through puberty(take notes all you late in life moms) and we found it best in those days to "communicate" through my father, in writing or not at all. So much for the french tutoring. Added to that is the fact that the people with whom I have had the worst dealings with in my life have all had french accents. Except of course, Haitian people. I love Haitian people...but they killed off all the french in a revolution didn't they... but I am really wandering away from the point here. The recent events of my life have pretty much closed down any notions of traveling and the riots in france have quelled my fire for travel to france in particular . As for Tahiti, when the kids were small and were being kids, I used to tell them If they didn't behave I was going to "run away to Tahiti". Of course they blew me off until one day, poor dear, sensitive #2 son was watching TV and called to me from the next room.

"mommy,mommy look on TV, there really is a Tahiti"

"yes #2 son , that's right"

"does that mean you are really going to run away?'

He was obviously upset,I guess he was less than 7 yrs. old.

"no, honey, mommy just says that when she is crazy, besides auntie L. went there and she said everyone has a garbage pit in their front your filled with Mc Donald's Takeout Garbage."

It seems that having a compost/garbage pit in the front yard only works if the roaming pigs can actually eat the garbage. Trashy wrapping papers are a nonconsumable. Even for pigs.

"beside that, I heard it is way too hot"

"so you're not going?"

Nooow, I would like to think he was afraid of losing me and that by promising not to go I made him feel better, however, in retrospect, it is possible that he was more thinking about McDonalds at this point and how daddy would let them eat it if I were gone because I wouldn't let them while I was there. Little boys have their hearts connected to their stomachs at an early age.

Well Sonnyboy's feeding is about to finish, he needs to be turned and I need to eat something. I'm sure it's lovely in Paris (sigh -April in Paris) and they probably have sorted out that garbage problem in Tahiti by now...After all #2 son isn't a little boy anymore... So please don't turn me in to some tourism spammer,OK?