#1 son- or- Life is Strange
I haven't had much to say about #1 son.
#1 son dated a girl who while bright and average looking was quite...um...well...odd. But then #1 son while quite bright and average looking was somewhat...well... odd also. Make no mistake, I love him dearly but he took after his father, #1 husband who was while bright...etc,well you get the picture. #1 son did not get along with husband #2 and while most people have turmoil during their teens I can only describe #1 sons teenage years as The Days of Anguish. While there were no overt acts of homicide or suicide there was much discussion both in front of, and behind my back. I feared we might make the tabloid headlines. As #2 husband quietly exited and #3 Hubby-to-be entered the picture Things seemed to simmer down. #1 son was a late bloomer and when Odd Girlfriend entered the picture we were all initially quite happy and relieved. Initially. Odd Girlfriend it seemed had even Odder Parents who she endlessly complained about and before we knew it Odd Girlfriend was basically living with us. I watched in amusement and then horror as Odd Girlfriend systematically stripped #1 son of all his friends and social contacts. We waited for these friendships to be replaced by friends of Odd Girlfriend but it turned out she had no friends of her own. Then her mother died. After she finished off the last of #1 son's friendships she went to work on us. It was subtle at first but then her behaviors and lies became more overt. We waited for #1 son to see the light but it turned out love is truly blind. Eventually, it became a situation of him believing her or me and he chose to leave with her. Despite repeated attempts he spurned my gestures at contact and reconciliation. I finally gave up. Heartbroken. Ruined.
When it became clear that my mother was about to die three years ago I had #2 son call #1 son to invite him for a last visit. He had not seen his grandmother for ages and as she had ADORED him I felt it would be a gift to her if we could get him to come and visit. He did. Once. She died two months later (I hospiced her at home). Imagine my surprise when he showed up at her funeral with Odd Girlfriend (now Odd Wife-No I did not get invited to that wedding). Odd Wife cried Inconsolably throughout her visit. Life is strange.
After my mother died I found out I had cancer. I had a number of conversations with #1 son, but, one day I asked him for help with some thing and he refused to talk to me ever after. Then when Sonnyboy was really sick a year ago he came and sat with us while he was in the OR for about 3 hours . ( I didn't mention Both Odd son and Odd wife are both RNs in the OR where Sonnyboy and I wind up now and then). Life is Strange.
Last May #2 son's Lovely Girlfriend had a combination Birthday/Graduation Party. #1 son and Odd Wife were there. I spoke to them but they didn't respond. I don't get it. He can talk to me for hours when she is not around but when she is I'm shit? How many times can a son break his mother's heart? I feel sorry for them. Life Is Strange.
#1 son dated a girl who while bright and average looking was quite...um...well...odd. But then #1 son while quite bright and average looking was somewhat...well... odd also. Make no mistake, I love him dearly but he took after his father, #1 husband who was while bright...etc,well you get the picture. #1 son did not get along with husband #2 and while most people have turmoil during their teens I can only describe #1 sons teenage years as The Days of Anguish. While there were no overt acts of homicide or suicide there was much discussion both in front of, and behind my back. I feared we might make the tabloid headlines. As #2 husband quietly exited and #3 Hubby-to-be entered the picture Things seemed to simmer down. #1 son was a late bloomer and when Odd Girlfriend entered the picture we were all initially quite happy and relieved. Initially. Odd Girlfriend it seemed had even Odder Parents who she endlessly complained about and before we knew it Odd Girlfriend was basically living with us. I watched in amusement and then horror as Odd Girlfriend systematically stripped #1 son of all his friends and social contacts. We waited for these friendships to be replaced by friends of Odd Girlfriend but it turned out she had no friends of her own. Then her mother died. After she finished off the last of #1 son's friendships she went to work on us. It was subtle at first but then her behaviors and lies became more overt. We waited for #1 son to see the light but it turned out love is truly blind. Eventually, it became a situation of him believing her or me and he chose to leave with her. Despite repeated attempts he spurned my gestures at contact and reconciliation. I finally gave up. Heartbroken. Ruined.
When it became clear that my mother was about to die three years ago I had #2 son call #1 son to invite him for a last visit. He had not seen his grandmother for ages and as she had ADORED him I felt it would be a gift to her if we could get him to come and visit. He did. Once. She died two months later (I hospiced her at home). Imagine my surprise when he showed up at her funeral with Odd Girlfriend (now Odd Wife-No I did not get invited to that wedding). Odd Wife cried Inconsolably throughout her visit. Life is strange.
After my mother died I found out I had cancer. I had a number of conversations with #1 son, but, one day I asked him for help with some thing and he refused to talk to me ever after. Then when Sonnyboy was really sick a year ago he came and sat with us while he was in the OR for about 3 hours . ( I didn't mention Both Odd son and Odd wife are both RNs in the OR where Sonnyboy and I wind up now and then). Life is Strange.
Last May #2 son's Lovely Girlfriend had a combination Birthday/Graduation Party. #1 son and Odd Wife were there. I spoke to them but they didn't respond. I don't get it. He can talk to me for hours when she is not around but when she is I'm shit? How many times can a son break his mother's heart? I feel sorry for them. Life Is Strange.
posted by CCCCppppCCppp at 5:18 AM
8 Comments:
That's a woman's job, sucking the soul out of a man, isn't it?
Sorry shouldn’t make light. I know it has to be tough when you own son doesn’t bother with you. Family is very precious but not everyone realizes it. I was lucky to have the house full again - it made me remember how much I missed having everyone around. I really miss my brother, enough that I often think about leaving here and heading back to the Great Frozen Nation.
Well, you always have us, now there’s a comforting thought, eh?
That must be so hard to deal with. *hugs*
borderlines
Control isn't it. She obviously has very little self confidence and no social skills at all. Such a pity. It'll all come out one day, perhaps your son has already realised what he's done and (he should be)is too far up to his neck in it to change anything and too controlled to do much about it without doing anything final. Knowing it's nothing to do with something you've done wrong should be slightly comforting I guess.I hope he comes to his senses. Silly boy.
How are you doing FS? Just passing through...
wow.
that's really all o have to say, anything else would seem trite, i think.
but the story of #1 son was very intriguing and well-written, i must say. what a captivating life you have.
oh, okay, i'll say ONE thing: odd-wife crying inconsolably at your mom's funeral? i would have smacked her. how did you refrain?
Oh my dear Fairscape! Family can be so very painful can't they! I think it's precisely because they mean so much to us that they, and they alone, have the power to hurt us so deeply. Rest assured that it is #1 son and Odd Wife that are lacking and are missing out - and they won't even realize it until it is way too late!
Ugh. Family can be so cruel sometimes.
My husband always quotes his Father (even though they don't really get along) as saying DAILY:
"There's nothing queerer than folk."
I find it fits many circumstances.
On Topic Story:
My Mom & Dad ALWAYS held Xmas at their house (for some 20+ years). It was open to ALL relatives & their friends & their pets (lots of doggie poop everywhere! LOL). My parents (who never had much money) would make sure there was tons of food & drink for everyone. The first year that my Mom & I started the shoppe we knew we couldn't handle the traditional Xmas meal because of working & the cost. We decided to ask for $10 per person so we could manage it. All the usual folks came, only 2 people paid. The next year we decided not to have anything. Do you know, out of all those relatives, not ONE person gave us an invitation to come to their house on Xmas! As it turned out, ALL of them got together at my Mom's sisters house. We were the only ones NOT invited. After all those years. My parents were SO upset & hurt. But, what can you do? You can't go back, you have to move forward.
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